First confession: I’m as susceptible to word diarrhea as the next person. Sometimes I get excited about a topic and can’t stop writing. You’ll see it in my posts. But I strive to be concise.
I’m a fan of the English language, and I love to write. There’s nothing quite like reading a document that immediately flows to your brain.
With that out of the way, it’s rant time.
The Problem
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
While watching a podcast this morning, one participant couldn’t stop talking. You know the type, their voice is music to their ears. They’re the smartest person in the room, and you will know it. A sense of pride swells in their chest as they baffle you with bullshit while peppering it with technical jargon. Meanwhile, the smartest person in the podcast threw out a few choice sentences packed with meaning and value.
Let’s call these characters The Bullshit Artist and The Wisdom Sniper.
There’s a reason The Wisdom Sniper needs a quiet room to take out their target. They need to think, breathe, and focus while the Bullshit Artist prays and sprays. They chaingun the room with words, hoping to hit something. They must create a word buffer overflow in your brain that breaks your mind, puts you on your heels, and helps them “win” the conversation.
Windbags
The Bullshit Artist is one of many windbags. They’re the ones who won’t shut the fuck up in a video call and leave you bitter with rage in the next meeting filled with rolling windbags.
The Bullshit Artist is joined by other key characters.
Conciousness Streamer — They’ll send you novels on Slack, Email, and Confluence with no context and extra work. Sadly, people love them for unknown reasons.
Technical Word Salad Tosser — What dressing would you like with your jargon soup and deep dive chants? They’ll whip up a batter of paragraphs leaving non-techies bewildered and belittled.
Certainly, there are others, but I’m not writing a script.
Wordsmiths
The Wisdom Sniper is a wordsmith. They wait for the rare moments of windbag emptiness, and send three words that pop them all. Sadly, they’re uncelebrated by an overpopulation of windbags, so their good deeds go unrewarded. The Wisdom Sniper has few allies…
Analytical Assassin — As The Bullshit Artist spins The Analytical Assassin drops a few rows from a spreadsheet in the jargon soup while The Conciousness Streamer gapes dumfounded. They lie in wait ready to strike with their command line at the ready.
Visual Valedictorian — Putting up with The Conciousness Streamer is their primary job. They’ll purify the mountain of undistilled bullshit, salad, and detritus into one chart that delivers a six pack of shut the fuck up cups.
I love wordsmiths. Oh, to have a world filled with Agent Wordsmiths. 😎
The No Bullshit Age
Let’s imagine putting The Age of Intelligence and The Robotic Automation Age on pause.
Let’s stop, breathe, and think about what truly matters.
I don’t know your read, but my sense of meaninglessness is on high alert in the unnatural knowledge worker habitat. I feel a deep sense of pity for people unaccustomed with constant word buffer overflows. It’s no wonder people skip computers and live on farms.
My sense of meaning skyrockets when I’m helping people with few words, minimal lines of code, and succinct documentation.
I wonder if windbags find meaning while streaming their conciousnesses as they munch bullshit packed salads… 🤔
Solutions
So, how do we reach The No Bullshit Age?
- Edit, edit, edit — Before pressing send know your audience, what they need, and how they’ll get it.
- Prepare yourself — Ask questions before meetings and understand the desired outcomes. Bring data and visuals that’ll send windbags flying.
- Say less; think more — If your next sentence isn’t moving your team toward an important goal, don’t say it.
- Empty your windbag — We’re all a little windbaggy. Find an outlet. Write a journal, blog, or book. Get it out of your system.